Be among women

Although I resist labeling myself as a teacher, and I concede it only as a temporary part-time interest, actually it can sometimes be really good. I’m not saying I have good moments all the time or even often, but when I do, it’s a buzz.

The bulk of my work is IELTS (academic English) classes, and they’re highly variable. Weekday daytime classes consist mainly of deadbeat teenage losers, already failing, whose parents send them along for remedial work and the fall-back hope of foreign education for their little brats. I am extremely careful how I describe and categorise students, and I’m always willing to be proven wrong, but I am very rarely wrong and frankly the loser label fits. Fortunately I get few of those classes which usually fall to full-timers to endure: I don’t know how they do. Weekday daytime classes can also be really good when they’re high-quality uni students, but that’s uncommon. Mostly I get weekend and evening classes, which can also occasionally be really sparkling for the same reason.

Generally anyone with any talent wants to leave China either temporarily to study, or permanently. IELTS is a turnkey test: foreign education or migration is completely impossible without it. So good students inevitably show up in IELTS classes, and because they are good students, they often take the classes even if they don’t really need to, just to be sure. As Shanghai is the end of a vast water catchment system, so Shanghai IELTS classes are also the end of huge educational catchment. I often get the very best students from the whole country. While the deadbeats always test my endurance, they don’t mix with the good ones, with whom, as I said earlier, it can be a privilege to work.

Although worthy, IELTS classes can be repetitive, so I always look forward to getting past the basic (and for me, boring) stuff they need to know about test skills and spending as much time as possible doing impromptu discussions and applications. That’s the best honing of test skills anyway, so it’s directly relevant to what they come to learn. Also, where possible, I can’t really stop myself directing classes away from straight-English into critical thinking and argumentation, which is also relevant. So good classes are interesting for me in so many ways.

Best are the young girls. And not just because they’re cute and sweet, but for serious reasons which go to the core of what education means for me. It’s all about opening minds and building confidence. I take that seriously.

For example, a few days ago on a whim I did an experimental topic: what do you like about yourself? They had no idea how to answer, obviously no-one had ever asked them. The question is inconceivable in Chinese thinking: parents mostly barrage their kids with constant nagging abuse. Girls get it worst, and they’re most sensitive to it, so they really internalise that negative criticism. They stumbled around for a bit, trying instead to tell me what they didn’t like about themselves, but I forced them to stay on topic. So for the first time in their lives they actually pondered it. Then they started answering! Wow! They realised they like LOTS of things about themselves, actually all the same things I like about them. Essentially that they’re smart, kind and good. That was a real teacher-moment. I’m going to do it again.

When, like nearly all girls and women, they fall back on negative body-images, I ask why. A stunning 20 year old girl, size 8, 40 kg even with her glasses and two towells, with enormous doe-eyes and perfect skin, says, “I’m ugly, I’m too fat”; I ask her to explain that, especially since she can’t actually find any fat on her body. Then she begins to doubt it. Media images are so deep, the conditioning so difficult to overcome, but at least thinking and questioning is a beginning.

Another example: Most Chinese have tragic, empty lives, especially women. A girl (Grace, about 24-25) in one recent class started it telling me about the dead-end job she hated, and her dreams of going abroad to study something she loved to get into the field she really knew was for her. Few Chinese students study what they want, for most the idea of liking their subject is very alien. Mostly parents decide for them based on what courses will lead to the best financial returns. Even in those rare cases when students know what they want and parents let them do it, the uni system allocates places depending on scores. They often end up with something they didn’t apply for and didn’t want, especially if they’re a bit B-grade, and it’s really a take-it-or-leave-it offer. So most uni students in China study things for which they have little passion. For most, only foreign education gives them any hope of a new direction. So I really respect those who are active enough and positive enough to do it, it’s a large and difficult commitment.

Grace was one of those and very positive, but soon this changed. She started thinking about not bothering after all and doubting her ability to succeed; turns out her new loser boyfriend (they always have loser boyfriends), who she’d met in my class, was now discouraging her from going abroad simply because he didn’t like being without her for just 12 months, and feeding her bullshit that she’d probably fail anyway, so why bother?

With the boyfriend sitting right next to her, I had a serious talk with her saying that anyone who really cared for her would support her in what she wanted, want her to be happy, NOT hold her back, and what’s a year anyway. If anyone really cared about her they’d wait because she was definitely worth waiting for! And she thought: YEAH! I explained she was obviously the best in the class, clearly had the ability, and not to ever doubt that she really could do it. I never say it unless I mean it, but told her I believed in her and that I was proud of her. It’s astonishing how many have never heard those words.

Most Chinese women are extremely weak. By western standards incredibly passive, without much will of their own, most are easily led, even towards things they don’t want to do. So they are vulnerable to being controlled and manipulated by men, who take full advantage. Yet I could see in Grace’s eyes that she’d decided to do what she wanted, at that moment anyway. This is teaching!

One of the best things is when I set up teams to discuss a complex topic. I mentioned earlier the businesses scenario I often do: 4 applicants + CVs, one job, who gets it and why? As I mentioned, often their first response is to blurt disappointing and stupid answers, sometimes equally from both sexes. At least when I question them about it, girls review their opinions and come up with something more articulate. Inevitably the most resistantly stupid answers, deeply rooted in chauvanism, come from males. With some few exceptions, nearly all Chinese males are a waste of oxygen, that’s just how it is. Many women think so too. So this week one of the trogs said something typically trollish: 35 year old single woman, obviously a weirdo deviant lesbian, thus unsuitable (my paraphrase). One of the sixteen year old girls rolled her eyes but said nothing, so I said: “it seems Ivy has something to say in response”. Off she went! Wow! She slaughtered him and the other girls joined in. A real shark mauling! I’m so proud!

They don’t need much encouragement, just a little bit goes far because usually they get none. In their normal classes they never do discussions and no-one ever asks them what they think. Initially they’re hesitant or reluctant to express their own ideas, but push them a bit and they come up with reasoned, articulate, often original thoughts, clearly expressed. This is education.

One of my favourite topics shows this. Without warning I put on the board exactly this:

Gay marriage
yes/no
why?

The results are always interesting. Actually a few of the more intelligent boys admit that it disgusts them but out of fairness they might grudgingly have to tolerate it anyway. Mostly boys, men and older women are totally opposed for the weakest of reasons: “it’s unnatural”, “it spreads disease”, “it can’t result in children”. These excuses are so transparent they’re not even worth a critical examination, nor can these people question their assumptions in the slightest degree. I expect nothing less from trogs. But the girls surprise me. UNANIMOUSLY in favour, most have no understanding of why it’s a fuss at all. It’s just obvious to them people should have that freedom and right.

How about that: liberal, open-minded, tolerant, generous, compassionate Chinese! Incredible!

However, if every cloud has a silver lining then every ointment must also have its fly. Logically, it cannot be otherwise. So here it is: these bright, articulate, critical-thinking girls will also be those most dissatisfied with their suffocating society, and the first to leave. Anyway, that’s China’s problem and the west’s benefit. Maybe China’s only similarity to Australia is that it too exports its best people.

Still, teaching has its moments and I am grateful for those. I can maybe help a few. I resist “teacher” but perhaps I can accept “educator”. There is an enormous difference.

And Gautama allegedly said “be among women”. Fine with me!